Why I run

These are the moments I run for. On May 18th, 2019, I undertook what was without a doubt the most physically challenging event of my life at that point. I ran for 8 hours straight and officially logged 49.27 miles, earning a 3rd overall finish in the Galena Sky Trail Race. I often get asked why I run these races. People joke that I'm insane. But the truth is, running is the only thing that allows me to keep my sanity.

See, for as long as I can remember I've struggled with deep depression and bouts of anxiety. There were months and even years of my life where I lacked any experience of genuine happiness or joy. I was great at pretending and putting on masks. But when it came to the real feelings and sensations, there was nothing. I hated myself and dreaded nearly every aspect of life. I started to develop self-destructive habits and was walking a slippery slope. And when I hit an emotional rock bottom, running became my therapy. It was an escape, the only part of my day where I could get away from all of the negative thoughts and emotions. For a half hour I could put aside everything and just focus on running. And little by little my therapy has helped me to rebuild my mental health. I started to find and experience joy, not just on the trail, but in life. I still have plenty of bad days and weeks, but I'm getting better. So the answer to why I do this is simple. Running saved my life.

I believe this photo was taken sometime around hour 7. I was sore, tired, and felt broken. But there was no quit in my mind. I was going to hit that 8 hour mark if I was running, walking, or crawling. This sport has given me so much of my life back that giving up was never an option. And as long as I have the ability to run, I am going to keep pushing my limits, not because of some accolades or to impress people, but because I know that this physical journey is easy compared to the mental journey I've already overcome.